Inner Mind


July 2010

The Gifts of History

Dear Friends,

In the Present Moment I am happy and well.

I am at home in a safe place in a natural country setting I am enchanted with.

I am in a wonderful satisfying relationship with a man I adore.

My body is comfortable.

My needs of food and shelter are looked after.

I am at peace with myself and the Creator, understanding and accepting of, content with the process of my Earthwalk path.

What then is my motivation for doing anything?

My self care of nurturing and cleaning up is simple. My material needs are provided for at this moment. I am at a mature age where I no longer have any ambitions of things I need to prove to myself or the world.

This situation is all very new to me. I recently moved into this relationship and the country home that is a distance from anywhere I lived before.

I am realizing that I have no history with this area and this community. There are no friends here who call me for companionship, no children asking me to babysit grandchildren, no one that has any idea of what gifts and talents I have that may be of use or need to them, no one mirroring to me any notions of who I have been or how I have influenced their lives.

I appreciate the incredible freedom this gives me to recreate myself.

Simultaneously I see and appreciate the gifts of history. When there is history, there are people of family and community that know you or know of you and what you are capable of doing. They seek to engage you in their lives and plans. This in turn provides motivation for service and opportunity for personal growth, practice of being in relationships and having experiences that challenge you to love more and more inclusively, to expand your consciousness and notions of reality.

As I write these words I also see that this is what I am creating for myself as I continue through time in the place I hope and expect to develop a history with.

This brings to my mind a shamanic experience I had a number of years ago. I was caretaking the place of a sister who was on vacation. One evening I was drumming and talking to spirit worlds when a human spirit man hopped out of the drum and sat in a chair across from me. We had a conversation, much of which I do not remember. Forever imprinted on my mind, however, is the segment where he introduced himself as a First Nations Native American ancestral being.

I told him that I was of Latvian descent, that I did not have any Native American ancestors.

His response to me was: “You do now.”

I have been on a quest all of my conscious life to find the place on this earth I can put roots down into. My parents were driven out of their beloved birth country by war and while the city of Toronto, they arrived to, provided a shelter for the Latvian culture and a stimulating childhood education for their children, it did not invite them to put down roots.

I started to have dreams of the east coast of Canada when I reached puberty and eventually, after exploring the west coast, I found myself sitting in a screened porch, looking out over a bay of the Atlantic Ocean.

This was when the rocks of this area recognized me, and sent the energy to connect me to this ground. Then the plant worlds made friends with me. Next, the ancestors were adopting me.

Now there is a man and gardens.

I am fully confident that, in time, people of the community will find ways to engage with me. We will create the further history. Meanwhile, in this present moment, I am content and well.

May you appreciate your history, the motivation and inspiration it brings to your life!

Blessings and love,